The thought of failure is a powerful and dangerous thing in life. Failure is a fear that can keep you up at night and make you feel like you are being pulled underwater. This is what I felt when learning about iScholar and the financial assistance it could provide me.
Let me tell you a little about myself before I go into my iScholar story.
My name is Jimmy Zarate, an alumnus of Passaic Arts and Science Charter High School, Class of 2023. I have been a part of iLearn Schools since I was in 6th grade.
I participated in sports, playing soccer from 6th to 12th grade, and was part of both the Pathways to College (PTC) Program and the National Honor Society.
I am honored to have been part of this family. I learned and experienced many amazing things and made strong connections with both students and teachers.
When I learned about iScholar and how five graduating seniors would have the privilege of receiving a $2,000 scholarship, the first thought that popped into my head was, “It’s not me.”
“I did not believe in myself and I did not believe that I could fill the shoes required to receive the scholarship.”
I did not believe in myself and I did not believe that I could fill the shoes required to receive the scholarship. What did I decide to do? Well, at first, simply nothing. I decided that I was not good enough for this and decided to push it aside.
The fear of failure is what made me make this decision. I didn’t tell anyone because deep inside me I knew that people would try to convince me to take a chance and apply.
For those who may not know the requirements, they are simply the same documents needed for college applications, something I have already done. I needed a completed application, SAT scores, a written essay, and reference letters.
The one requirement that shook me to my core was the panel interview. I personally am not a great public speaker. I do not hold conversations well. People tell me this is not true, but I end up stuttering and feeling anxious when talking to people, so the thought of a panel interview terrified me.
The deadline for the iScholar application was coming up and, for the most part, my mind was made up. I was not going to do it.
However, a small voice in my head began echoing, “You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.” For some reason, this is what it took for me to change my mind, and I began the application process.
“You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.”
I handed in all the documents. After they were received and looked over, I was informed that I had moved on to the next round: the panel interview.
The day of the interview came, and I was extremely nervous. One by one, each of the chosen students who moved on to the next round entered the room where three interviewers were sitting. As each one went, I knew that my time was coming up, and the nerves increased second by second.
During this time, there was one person who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself; his name was Mr. Kapit.
If you’re reading this, Mr. Kapit, thank you for supporting and believing in me. Mr. Kapit earlier that day had emailed me, wishing me luck and telling me I was the man for this.
I entered the room, and the interview began.
If I am being honest, the thought of the interview was scarier than the actual interview itself. The interview went smoothly and was more of a conversation rather than an interview.
Graduation day came and hearing my name being called as one of the recipients of the scholarship was an amazing feeling. What made it worthwhile for me was seeing the reaction of my mother, whose face lit up in front of me as I received the award.
One thing I want you to take from this story is to not let any opportunity pass by. Go for it! Trust me, I am not smarter or better than anyone else.
If you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, then why not go for it? Everyone at the iLearn Schools believes in you. I believe in you. Go for it!
